28 apr

Have been reading about the Spanish Civil War. It is hard to imagine it is only eighty years ago that these devastating cruelties happened. I am looking at the faces of these people around me and am searching for the scars of that period. General Franco died in 1975. That was 39 years after the start of the Civil War. Now it’s 39 years after his death. I remember it. I think there was a suspicion that he was already death for weeks, but they just showed a mummy in his bed on television in the weeks before.
The atrocities of war are horrible, but even more incomprehensible when it is a civil war. Anthony Beevor describes it pretty passionless. But still, the thousands of deaths, coldly mass murdered, are gripping material. I realize that when walking the Camino I’ve been walking through exclusively nationalist country. The smaller part of the country that was gained in the first week of the war by the nationalists (army and church).
That must have been the reason I saw so little demolishment. In the revolutionary parts of the country many churches were vandalized. Probably understandable given the dubious role of the church, but still brutal. The most brutal thing, according to Orwell, is that they didn’t demolish the Sagrada Famiglia in Barcelona. What they did was even worse. They burned all Gaudi’s drawings and sketches. This is the main cause why the church lacks character at this moment, I think. No, that needs to be rephrased. The church has character, but it is more monotonous than Gaudi ever would have accepted. Just like his episcopal palace in Astorga, where he also left before the building was finished.
The last (and only!) english speaking guest has left this morning. The meals become pretty solitary events. I start to get more and more of the services though. Today I was the only guest again at one service and invited on the altar. I stood even closer to the monks than last time. The acoustics were even better. I also realized that not all monks are singing. They leave it to the best voices. It doesn’t need many to get an outstanding result.
Read Jamison about sadness, another sin. Sadness is an alternative for lack of hope, according to Jamison. And it’s good to be sad about your own failings regarding the sins. It’s all about the future, he says, about improving our lives. Good stuff.
Spent some time trying to make a drawing of the cloisters. I always set myself a goal of 30 minutes for these sketches. But here there is too much to draw. And it’s getting way to detailed for me.
I had set myself a goal of making one sketch a day. Followed that pattern pretty much in the first weeks. But then it got too cold and other excuses. The last drawing i made was at the beginning of march and the one before that was in november. Not very dedicated. Wonder what sin that is?